Tim hates you

So there I was… Sitting on the bus… I gave up my seat for an old dear and stood up for the rest of the journey… I’m young, fit, able and strong… However for her friend no one was willing to give up their seat for her, so after two minutes of getting annoyed, I had to publically tell everyone off on the bus for being a bunch of lazy gits and making an old woman stand all the time. To add insult to injury people were giving ME dirty looks for what I did in condemning them as rude, lazy plebs with poor manners and no breeding… If only someone would have started something I would have cleansed the genetic stain from that immediate part of the world there and then. Instead I had to content myself with returning their dirty looks with a death stare of my own daring them to do something to a very pissed off looking guy.

Please for the love of god…. just don’t do it… Yes… YOU… I’m looking at you… All Asian/Oriental/Whatever…. look basically if your skin is yellow and you have slitty eyes… just DO NOT GROW FACIAL HAIR. I’m sorry but it’s just wrong… You look like a freshly pulled Turnip…. Ugly… I had to show a property to a lovely couple who I took an instant dislike to. Why? Because he looked like a rat in a fucking bush… I just wanted to take a stanley knife (box cutter to the American challenged) and grab those annoying as fuck whispy little crappy whiskers and cut them off myself. They annoyed me that much.

BTW. I’m Chinese. This is not a racial issue. This is one of aesthetics. Even I think I look like a rat in a bush if I try to grow facial hair.

So there I was with our agent. He was negotiating a rent review of one of our properties. The other party, let’s call him John, was sitting on the other side with his legal team. You’d think that something like this could be handled in an efficient and a businesslike manner. You could even imagine that his legal team could advise him on how far to go. You’d be wrong.

We’re dealing with them in the negotiations and things appear to be going well, then we start talking hard numbers… Eyes lock across the table. John looks up and starts screaming at us accusing us of price gouging, being bandits and he’s going to sue us. All negotiations go out of the window. He storms off…

A week or two later I receive notification from our agent that he received many letters from John. They’re all abusive, quite rude too, it’s pissed our agent off. He says to me “Fuck this forget our offer, I’m going to push up the price an extra 20%, we can take this to arbitration and get it.” I smile to myself, mostly because the week before the arrival of the letters I get a call from “John” and he’s screaming and shouting at me. He even comes to find me and threatens me face to face. I stared him in the eye and told him to stand down before I’d defend myself physically, he jumped back in fear. It’s a strange feeling when you actually see fear in someones eyes. Very very enjoyable infact…

Last night I get a call from an accountant for the firm “John” “owns” let’s call them “Acme” he tells me he’s sorry, he apologises to me. He begs for forgiveness and understanding, he says “John” doesn’t own anything, he’s just working for them he doesn’t even know who the guy is really and why he’d be calling himself one of the owners, they’ve just realised that if we go to arbitration we’ll get even more money than we originally asked for. Significantly more infact. I’ve never had a complete stranger beg infront of me before. It’s fun. I wonder what I can do to get this “John” fired. Lesson of the day people, business is both fun and profitable.

P.S. Don’t hurl abuse at your landlords when things go wrong. Especially if they’ve been friendly and helpful
P.P.S. Especially when you need them a hell of a lot more than they need you.

Go to www.chi-ying.com and read. This is a girl I knew when she was in London, a rather alcoholic, dazed and above all bright… apart from when she was in her alcohol induced, sleep deprived due to clubs and general exhaustion from dancing and drinking all night long haze.

Which I admit was 90% of the time.

I also fed her. She couldn’t cook to save her life before. I don’t know if that’s changed since then or not.

So now you know what I think of her. Go read her website. Have fun. Try to at least. She needs the site traffic for her google ads to pay for her fashion addiction.

This just made my day and I’m sure it will make yours

Camel Toads

It’s gotten to such a point now that the amount of spam I receive on a daily basis is almost equivalent to the huge amount of legitimate email I receive. I wonder how I’m going to cope anymore. I’m tempted to just shut down all my current emails and just start from scratch. I mean there isn’t much else that I can do about it.

Any suggestions for coping with this deluge of junk mail will be greatly appreciated.

Current mood: Physical and mental need to commit a crime that will leave coroners wondering how I did those things to someone for the rest of their lives and the weaker ones in an insane asylum.

I hate the politicians we have nowadays.

When I say hate… the word doesn’t quite sum up the feeling of rage that builds up in me when I think of them, what I wish I could do to them when I see them on the television or walking around the street kissing babies and associated patheticnesses.

Hatred doesn’t begin to explain what I want to do to them, wanting to drown them in the blood of their family and friends whilst having them anally raped by black men with impossibly large penises and shoving human excrement into the unused orifices.

I look around me, I feel the need for weapons of immense destruction to cleanse the world. Someone give me Thermonuclear warheads please.

I look at the Labour party and wonder what happened to them, the so-called party of the people who are in one hand bleeding us dry for some inevtiably stupid nanny state ideal and then at the same time privatising everything else. What are the Tories doing to us? Oops I meant to say Labour just then.

I look at the Conservatives. I see degenerate inbred pissweak little homophobic closet gays screaming for a return to family values whilst snorting cocaine off rentboys dicks and living in denial of who they really are.

I see the liberal democrats, well no, that’s a lie, I don’t. Who the fuck are they again?

We’re losing our freedom of speech, we’re losing our sense of justice and the culture of fear from being bombed by mad muslims who scream about the human rights abuses we perpetuate in Serbia, Chechnya, Iraq and Afghanistan, I guess they think they’re the aggrieved party. They’re not, what they are though are infact lying bastards. They ignore human rights in Saudi Arabia, perpetuate abuses in Egypt, rape pillage and murder anyone who isn’t muslim in Sudan. I want to go to the Ka’ba and take a shit on it and then grind it up for cement. Then I’ll use that cement to build my septic tank.

I hate you all.

BASTARDS!

I got burgled, while I was asleep!

GITS!

So… on to a conversation I had with an american work colleague… it ran like this…

Me: blah blah blah telling him about the robbery and then waking up to find my car and some mobile phones gone (Cell Phones for the American Challenged about)… so I’m there in my bed going ZzZzZzZzZ and geting robbed at the same time!

Him: Yeesch.. You’re lucky you weren’t clubbed or shot in the dark

Me: Errr yeah they just wanted what they could grab not to be in the middle of a murder hunt.

I’ve noticed that people who are really into guns seem to have a very exagerated sense of their own peril (By the way yes he is VERY VERY into his guns). They envision home invasions, armed attackers, etc, popping up everywhere. It’s almost fetish-like, as though what they really want is to have the opportunity to have to shoot someone.

Americans I have decided on average scare me, this is not to say that my American friends scare me, they’re lovely people. But as a whole America and her sons of liberty scare the pants off me.

I’ve been gone for a while, you may have moaned about the lack of updates. I was busy. So tough. Stop your whining.

Global accounting giant KPMG has agreed to pay $456m (£255m) to settle a case related to past tax shelter sales.

The deal means KPMG will avoid potentially crippling criminal charges.

Read the rest here

So the question is, what should happen to the people who defraud a country out of $2.5 billion dollars worth of money? Shouldn’t the companies who took part in this with KPMG also be fined?

I find news like this to be much more important than some pissy little rainstorm in the south. The potential economic ramifications are just huge. But nothing will happen and the company only pays one FIFTH of what they stole from the people and life goes on.