First of all there’s the new OLED Televisions out. Boy they’re pretty, pretty fucking expensive too at £1,700 a pop.

You know you want one, I know I want one, but I don’t have a spare arm and a leg at the moment, you know how it is, running to catch the bus, err enjoying Internet videos and typing this blog. All of it means I don’t have an arm and a leg spare. However if anyone wants to buy me one of these I’ll be very happy to take this off your hands.

Now my mate Ian would love this. A lot, not that he wouldn’t love the TV, but he’s got a beautiful Bravia already, the bastard. But he’s been getting into guitar hero a lot lately and this little doodad is just plain great.

This little beauty is known as the Riff Rocker, no word yet on a UK release, but if you want to while away some hours you can do a lot worse than this.  It comes shipped with the open source Frets on fire. It’s a cheap and fun knock off of the aforementioned guitar hero of course. But look at it! So tiny! So cute! So portable! So if you were lugging around say your laptop or a little netbook on holiday with you you could slap a couple of these in and have a whale of a time.

CES 2009 Mini plastic rhythm gaming guitar, The Riff-Rocker from Ars Technica on Vimeo.

Talking of netbooks the Sony Vaio P and the OQO Model 2+. I can’t go near these things because I’d be drooling so much my slobber would ruin them. They’re gorgeous, they’re tiny and they’re gonna cost you an arm, a leg, a kidney and one of your lungs. Not mine though (been living in London too long. Smoked too much, breathing in all the pollution means my lungs are only worth about 1/4 of the going price in a back street St Petersburg clinic.)

Here they are in all their lovely lovely glory.

I honestly don’t actually know what the hell I’d do with any of them to be honest, if I could ever actually buy one of these things. As an aside if you look at the actual filename of the OQO Model 2+ picture it’s called the “hershot.jpg”. I don’t know why but it made me giggle for a couple of seconds.

Anyway I’m off to watch some more Internet videos and send some text messages.

(However for the people who aren’t the ones I’m talking about and have encountered those bastard progeny of Satan my apologies and feel free to rant and rave about them also in the comments.)

I have a life. I have friends, family, girls I’m hoping to see more of etc etc.
I don’t have time to examine all the software out there right now in the world or to code my own (like I could code any software in the first place! HAH! My first attempt was getting a computer to display “hello world” and I still cocked it up.)

I’m a moderately savvy tech user and I do like to mess around with things but at the end of the day that’s about my limit.

So please. When I ask you a question. Just answer the simple question, assmuncher. I didn’t ask for a dissertation on your unfounded software opinions. So yes it’s you people. You fucking tech SNOBS who poo poo all our decisions unless we’re using ubundebhat software running codeyourownblogphp where we write it ALL IN XI AND COMPILE IT! NO I DO NOT CARE ABOUT SOME SOFTWARE I HAVE NEVER FUCKING HEARD OF! Just tell me if it is possible to do it or not and semi detailed instructions on how to do it if it is possible and a defintive NO if it isn’t! PLEASE for the love of Bill Gates, Linus Torvalds or Steve Jobs (Or whoever you follow!).

Do you really just sit there all night long wondering why you sit in your ivory tower of a Linux machine and think to yourself “I’m so special my computer has an uptime of 423 days and I didn’t need a reboot and I don’t need to worry about viruses.” (AND IT IS VIRSUSES NOT VIRII!!! YOUR ATTEMPTS AT PSEUDO INTELLECTUALLISM IN PLURALISING THE WORD VIRUS USING LATIN IS WRONG.)

I don’t care. My system works for me. My stuff works for me. I don’t need you to tell me how dumb I am because at the end of the day despite all the grumbling and moaning I have for my systems of choice. I don’t and won’t use Linux because you’re an annoying bastard and the mere thought of using it makes me nauseous because of its associations with people like you.

BTW. I’m Chinese. This is not a racial issue. This is one of aesthetics. Even I think I look like a rat in a bush if I try to grow facial hair.

Which I admit was 90% of the time.

I also fed her. She couldn’t cook to save her life before. I don’t know if that’s changed since then or not.

So now you know what I think of her. Go read her website. Have fun. Try to at least. She needs the site traffic for her google ads to pay for her fashion addiction.

Camel Toads

Any suggestions for coping with this deluge of junk mail will be greatly appreciated.

I got burgled, while I was asleep!

GITS!

So… on to a conversation I had with an american work colleague… it ran like this…

Me: blah blah blah telling him about the robbery and then waking up to find my car and some mobile phones gone (Cell Phones for the American Challenged about)… so I’m there in my bed going ZzZzZzZzZ and geting robbed at the same time!

Him: Yeesch.. You’re lucky you weren’t clubbed or shot in the dark

Me: Errr yeah they just wanted what they could grab not to be in the middle of a murder hunt.

I’ve noticed that people who are really into guns seem to have a very exagerated sense of their own peril (By the way yes he is VERY VERY into his guns). They envision home invasions, armed attackers, etc, popping up everywhere. It’s almost fetish-like, as though what they really want is to have the opportunity to have to shoot someone.

Americans I have decided on average scare me, this is not to say that my American friends scare me, they’re lovely people. But as a whole America and her sons of liberty scare the pants off me.