Tim hates you

I’m having great fun with gmail and all the new features they added to it, some minor gripes but it’s still beta… I know this is old news and all but I have 200 or so invites to give out and I’m now on a mission to get rid of all of them. Drop me a message here if you want one.

You know who you are. Yes you. I’m pointing at you… Tech snobs.

(However for the people who aren’t the ones I’m talking about and have encountered those bastard progeny of Satan my apologies and feel free to rant and rave about them also in the comments.)

I have a life. I have friends, family, girls I’m hoping to see more of etc etc.
I don’t have time to examine all the software out there right now in the world or to code my own (like I could code any software in the first place! HAH! My first attempt was getting a computer to display “hello world” and I still cocked it up.)

I’m a moderately savvy tech user and I do like to mess around with things but at the end of the day that’s about my limit.

So please. When I ask you a question. Just answer the simple question, assmuncher. I didn’t ask for a dissertation on your unfounded software opinions. So yes it’s you people. You fucking tech SNOBS who poo poo all our decisions unless we’re using ubundebhat software running codeyourownblogphp where we write it ALL IN XI AND COMPILE IT! NO I DO NOT CARE ABOUT SOME SOFTWARE I HAVE NEVER FUCKING HEARD OF! Just tell me if it is possible to do it or not and semi detailed instructions on how to do it if it is possible and a defintive NO if it isn’t! PLEASE for the love of Bill Gates, Linus Torvalds or Steve Jobs (Or whoever you follow!).

Do you really just sit there all night long wondering why you sit in your ivory tower of a Linux machine and think to yourself “I’m so special my computer has an uptime of 423 days and I didn’t need a reboot and I don’t need to worry about viruses.” (AND IT IS VIRSUSES NOT VIRII!!! YOUR ATTEMPTS AT PSEUDO INTELLECTUALLISM IN PLURALISING THE WORD VIRUS USING LATIN IS WRONG.)

I don’t care. My system works for me. My stuff works for me. I don’t need you to tell me how dumb I am because at the end of the day despite all the grumbling and moaning I have for my systems of choice. I don’t and won’t use Linux because you’re an annoying bastard and the mere thought of using it makes me nauseous because of its associations with people like you.

So there I was… Sitting on the bus… I gave up my seat for an old dear and stood up for the rest of the journey… I’m young, fit, able and strong… However for her friend no one was willing to give up their seat for her, so after two minutes of getting annoyed, I had to publically tell everyone off on the bus for being a bunch of lazy gits and making an old woman stand all the time. To add insult to injury people were giving ME dirty looks for what I did in condemning them as rude, lazy plebs with poor manners and no breeding… If only someone would have started something I would have cleansed the genetic stain from that immediate part of the world there and then. Instead I had to content myself with returning their dirty looks with a death stare of my own daring them to do something to a very pissed off looking guy.

Please for the love of god…. just don’t do it… Yes… YOU… I’m looking at you… All Asian/Oriental/Whatever…. look basically if your skin is yellow and you have slitty eyes… just DO NOT GROW FACIAL HAIR. I’m sorry but it’s just wrong… You look like a freshly pulled Turnip…. Ugly… I had to show a property to a lovely couple who I took an instant dislike to. Why? Because he looked like a rat in a fucking bush… I just wanted to take a stanley knife (box cutter to the American challenged) and grab those annoying as fuck whispy little crappy whiskers and cut them off myself. They annoyed me that much.

BTW. I’m Chinese. This is not a racial issue. This is one of aesthetics. Even I think I look like a rat in a bush if I try to grow facial hair.

Go to www.chi-ying.com and read. This is a girl I knew when she was in London, a rather alcoholic, dazed and above all bright… apart from when she was in her alcohol induced, sleep deprived due to clubs and general exhaustion from dancing and drinking all night long haze.

Which I admit was 90% of the time.

I also fed her. She couldn’t cook to save her life before. I don’t know if that’s changed since then or not.

So now you know what I think of her. Go read her website. Have fun. Try to at least. She needs the site traffic for her google ads to pay for her fashion addiction.

This just made my day and I’m sure it will make yours

Camel Toads

It’s gotten to such a point now that the amount of spam I receive on a daily basis is almost equivalent to the huge amount of legitimate email I receive. I wonder how I’m going to cope anymore. I’m tempted to just shut down all my current emails and just start from scratch. I mean there isn’t much else that I can do about it.

Any suggestions for coping with this deluge of junk mail will be greatly appreciated.

BASTARDS!

I got burgled, while I was asleep!

GITS!

So… on to a conversation I had with an american work colleague… it ran like this…

Me: blah blah blah telling him about the robbery and then waking up to find my car and some mobile phones gone (Cell Phones for the American Challenged about)… so I’m there in my bed going ZzZzZzZzZ and geting robbed at the same time!

Him: Yeesch.. You’re lucky you weren’t clubbed or shot in the dark

Me: Errr yeah they just wanted what they could grab not to be in the middle of a murder hunt.

I’ve noticed that people who are really into guns seem to have a very exagerated sense of their own peril (By the way yes he is VERY VERY into his guns). They envision home invasions, armed attackers, etc, popping up everywhere. It’s almost fetish-like, as though what they really want is to have the opportunity to have to shoot someone.

Americans I have decided on average scare me, this is not to say that my American friends scare me, they’re lovely people. But as a whole America and her sons of liberty scare the pants off me.

I’ve been gone for a while, you may have moaned about the lack of updates. I was busy. So tough. Stop your whining.

Thanks to Visigothan from the Ars Technica forums for sharing this link maybe I should get her in touch with Biff hmmm…

Edit. After I sent this blog to Biff this conversation happens on IM

Biff: she ain’t bad
Biff: er if she lost a lot of weight
Tim: lol